Friday, August 3, 2012

Not a whole lot about anything

Starts with a drip Steams up into a stew Explodes in a fit Sold out until the morrow Plan b is looking blue

Monday, July 9, 2012

I would have wanted a call

And so I called. It doesn't really matter that he doesn't feel remorse for his past actions. I called because I would have wanted to be called. My brother didn't want anything to do with his family. He didn't call me when mom died. But I'm not him. Thank god, I'm not him. Dad died this morning at 7am. He went peacefully in his sleep. Me & m went down there. He looked more peaceful than he has in the past 3 weeks. I hated seeing him suffering so. Not recognizing me. Hated that m said he did. This has been coming for months. Hell, since I got here. But it's still hard. it rained gently when we were loading his boxes in the car. That's mom. Saw a praying mantis on the back door. That's grandma. We are not ever really alone.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Mee moo

Mobile may move mauve mish. Maybe merry marks muck. More mired many
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Friday, June 3, 2011

The smell of cheetos in the morning

Coworker dustin eating cheetos right to the left of me. The weather channel on in the break room.

It's going to be 93° today.
My arms and hands all bit up by damn mosquitos. Ouch. Itchy. It's always something. If it's not rocks it's fleas or mosquitos. I want to try the off clip on repellant.

I'm going to try out the wordpress blog.

Oh, ebay is fun. I have two things to ship out today. Yay
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Friday, May 27, 2011

A great night for up

I need to condition to not ache with this job. On Friday everything hurts so now I just remembered lie down and put feet up up up on the wall. I said ok stay like this for 30 minutes but I'm ready to stop now. I'm too old for this shit was my mantra today. How murdock.

Forget about my Oprah show reminiscing. I wrote it but don't want to rewrite it. I don't care. Do you, dear bloggy? It was 4 shows and a sound byte for another show. This is the shortvattention Spanish version. The twitter 140 characters or less version.

Secrets and lies. I don't remember the particulars about that movie but I liked it. Every family has them. I think it's preferable to get them out in the open. Don't try to sanitize or cover up or rewrite them. The truth has a way of just bubbling up anyhow.

eBay auction. The one buyer was trying to pull a scam so the auction hasn't gone back up again. Oh, I smell a skunk outside. Whew. Phew. I like that smell but NOT while laying in bed.
Still, I'm liking this eBay thing. It seems like action, forward movement, a good thing. I listed some more things tonight. Its going to be de puttering but right now everything is downstairs. Messy. I want to list it and then put it away upstairs.

Has it been long enough with the legs? Oy. It seems chilly right now. The house temp reads 69 and that is toasty in the winter but not now.

Sleep, dear bloggy. I needs sleep.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Subconscious landmine

I like the swype feature on my phone that lets me drag my fingeracross the keys to type and often I just want to go with the different selection that pops up even though it would make no sense and not get my thoughts communicated well. My subconscious doesn't make sense to me. Where do these dreams come from?

For the past two nights I have dreamt of someone I'm not friends with anymore. When I wake up and think about the conversations we've just had and the scenarios we are in I can't help but wonder what is this stuff? What are dreams made of? My conscious mind would have rewritten the dialogue so it's more meaningful or funnier or apologies exchanged at the very least. And then when I wake up I want some sort of reciprocity -hey you dream of me but theres no way of knowing consciously what is going on with a person once those friendship ties have been broken and there is no mutual friend to fill in some details.

I'd like for these dreams these not fantastical dreams to be a way of communicating between us. Our subconsciences saying oh you crazy stubborn kids your work together isn't done so lets meet here in this place where pride and ego are set aside and interact. I don't want it just to be me that's dreaming this. There is nothing that makes me feel like I'm not alone as when I type a search into google and there a dozen other people have asked the same question. It's a good reassuring feeling. I'm not alone. I want to be haunting someones dreams too.

I read that if you dream about a house that house represents you. What does dreaming about a past friendship mean? That's one to google. While I'd like it to be interactive and real maybe it's giving me an insight into my conscious mind. How am I feeling now towards this friend? There was empathy and love. Of course a bittersweet sadness. At one point a lucid moment if the dream where I said to myself that I'd like to say more, go deeper, but at least we are talking now.
Being ignored and feeling in a void are the worst things. Being and feeling ignored in a void. Ah, dreams. Have I ever dreamed of being ignored?

This town this usually very quiet town has annoying traffic sometimes. Windows open make it more so. Last night I'm late to sleep and a large truck rumbles past presumably from the nearby hwy 18 headed god only knows where. At that hour? This is a town without services. I heard it and got to missing that quieter court street.

I heard owls last night. And thought be safe bunnies. I didn't mow the north side so it's a small meadow over there. Again this morning while walking emma I saw a little bunny crouched down, safe and half hidden. If emma was a younger corgi she would have noticed.

Now days after big rains the whole town has a symphony of frogs. Which is very nice though I'd love to see some.

Catching up on tv shows last night was reliving thursday all over. The recordings were interrupted all over the place with storm updates and signal interruptions. On one hand I got agitated thinking about auntie a and her pet hating and on the other a sense of hey I made it through my first tornado scare here and I'm ok. Though both A and Rick were bragging on the efficiency of the towns alarm system that day when Tammy told me Friday that the alarm never went off. They were supposed to sound it but there was a glitch. Ha! Efficient. They sound it every day at noon but when it was needed, no. If there were such a show as The Real Housewives of Lucas I would definately stir up a ruckus with the other housewives over this. And bring it up at the reunion. Pfft. Andy Cohen would ask Annie why do you hate other pets? And a caller would ask is it your flea phobia? Lol. Yes I did just really laugh out loud
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

Friday, May 20, 2011

Whenever possible be the calm before the storm

I need to walk emma before the next batch of thunderstorms hit. Please no more like yesterday. There were 5 small tornados around lucas and flash flooding. Crazy. Thank god for izzy she called and we spent hours on the phone. Everyone but shalom huddled in the bathroom. I am so disappointed in auntie A for closing her basement to my critters even though they are in crates. She said just leave them. Hell no. some people around here actually leave their dogs out year round. Even in tornado warnings. It's a different mentality. Leave the animals. Let the kids play in th he flood waters. Who am I to say this is asinine. Well, this being my my blog I will say it! It's absurd!

And it's official, two part time jobs. One in salina, non walmart retail and one in lucas, united states government. Both are non career positions with no benefits but who knows what is next. I'm living the questions. And must now walk the dog as the sky just darkened ever so much.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

About Me

Lucas, KS, United States
I have gone over the rainbow and back. This editing is not so iPad friendly. Grrr