I'm not going to bite you

Things I'd like to say. First of all, hi. Then how have you been. Then onward from there. But I won't. I can't.

on the road to find out

What now? I gave you 4 years of my life, no I leased them didn't give them and now it's over. What will I do where will I go?

Today I can only see right now as far as today and today is tidy and cleaning. The floors swiffered and vacuumed swept and dabbed. Surfaces dusted wiped down and spritzed. Items picked up put away or tossed out.

It will feel so good to be in here after it's all done!

And then tomorrrow will take care of tomorrow

those little plastic blinds

I love the new place. Love It. but I miss my kids so very very goshdarn much. I remind myself of how little they'd be home anyway but it doesn't matter because it was the little things that I so enjoyed sharing with them. hanging out. low key. off key. just being in the same goddam room.

Thinking about this makes me want to cry. Last night struck by the huge sad wave I tossed myself into cleaning. I tidied. Put away almost everything. Washed the two dishes I have. And swept all the carpet. Which is great to wake up to. But sad.

I love you
Don't hate me

the cats are obsessed with the bedroom windows. They are the ones in this hillside garden apartment that are on ground level. There's a tree ouside. Trashcans across the walk and most importantly there are little scampering birds. In an effort to get a good view when the blinds are down the cats have bent back breaking off three or maybe more little end plastic pieces. I need cat proof indestructible blinds. And something less ugly.

Ponderings

How long will it take me to walk 1.2 miles?
What is so fascinating to the cats outside that window?
What's up with the very odd dreams?
I dropped the silver key. Is it outside? Is it safe? I looked in the perma-noon without avail
Can I be ready to leave in 16 minutes?

Sign

Compost is good

economic collapse

This is a fancy phone. And that's a good thing as internet and now cable are gone. Just temporarily, I hope.
I wonder if during these times folks are saying 'why not spring for the fancy mustard!' since so much is being cut and feels hopeless and desparate. Upgrade that phone, why not? The old car doesn't pass smogging, can't get registraton tags til it does, so grasp at the quick and easy fulfillable pleasures. P says that the line to get fancy coffee was winding way out past the door. It can't be just me.