In most movies there is a line or lines that strike a chord. The ones down below from Winter's Bone and the ones today from Sunshine that I will jot down later.
Mom. I love you Mom. I made chocolate chip pancakes for dinner thinking about mom. I thought she invented them. When I was little and first heard the song There ain't no sunshine when she's gone - it was about mom. Everything was brighter at the house when she was there. She used to go get her hair done every Saturday for what seemed like hours and hours and the house was dreary without her. She was a fun sparkling adventure. She hid things. She hid cash from herself. She hid candy. She would open a can of diet pepsi and then hide it in the cabinet. Sometimes she'd forget that they were there and open another.
There was a time when she made us breakfast every morning before school. Pancakes from scratch and french toast were my favorites. She would make her own syrup. It was good when it was all cooked down but if it was a freshly started batch it was a bit watery. There were the hard times when there wasn't much money and school lunch was warm baloney and mayonaise sandwiches. She made oatmeal cookies once and they had hardboiled eggs in them. She'd do the best she could.
When we lived in Logan by the apple orchard she worked on making the perfect apple pie. I would look forward to coming home from school to taste her latest try.
When she had errrands to do when we were younger she liked to leave us home promising to bring us something back. I'd try to imagine what it would be. Often it was puzzles. My favorite was the orange kittens in a basket puzzle. She said her mother used to always bring her & her brother back gingersnaps and she grew to hate them. She worked at a this bank that gave away tootsie rolls and she'd bring home legal size envelopes stuffed with them. I didn't ever get tired of that.
When I was 9 she thought that I should start keeping a diary and collecting stamps. The diary part stuck at least. She taught me how to embroider and crochet.
I don't want to think about losing her about her being close to death. I don't want her to die before I can get back there to see her again. She doesn't want to talk about the cancer. So I would just talk to her about cool stuff that she did and how amazing she is my quirky darling momma. Her favorite snack was a block of cream cheese mixed with a can of fruit cocktail and put in the freezer. It tasted so gross to me but she absolutely loved it.
I love you mom. Thank you for all you've done and everything you are.
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