I feel mom here though I feel her all around me wherever I go there's alot to do. I have to sort and sift through whats left and pack it up. My days are spent mostly with dad down at shady acres just sitting with him and walking from place to place. Down to the mess hall, to the lobby area and occasionally outside. He's always glad to see me. He may not like it there but they are taking good care of him. It is what it is for now.
I woke up today to a sky that looks like California june gloom with a blanket of white cloud over the sky. The weather update says it's 52 degrees outside and that the high today will be 90.
I now have a new little basic verizon phone prepaid month to month but I don't want to send back this lovely easy to type on iPhone that so lovely makes that p back there into a capital p. I don't know. It's one more thing to figure out and unravel.
I'm headed down to Ellsworth to shady acres soon to take dad and drive to Lucas for Sunday dinner at auntie m's joined by aunt Annie and new uncle Rick. I hope that those people across the street in mom & dads house have completely moved and stopped their squatting. I want to get into that house today and look around. I was there once back in august of 2001 and I don't remember much about it. A horrible wallpaper mural of a mountain region on the living room wall. Mostly I remember me and mom sitting at the small table in the kitchen and her talking about her tomato plants and showing me little things that she had bought a bookmark or a new crochet pattern. They had recently moved from Corpus Christi and I wondered then how happy mom was. I don't know if she was ever really happy wherever she was or if she was just trying to cheerfully make do. I stopped just now and asked her that out loud. God i miss her.
There are neighbors here in Lincoln all around but there is a nice space between the houses and I see them occasionally outside but I don't ever here them talking or the noise people make in there own houses. I think most had the windows shut and ac on for the really hot days unlike me with windows wide open but it's one of the striking differences between here and Glendale and Los Angeles that I don't hear the neighbors. Outside now I here a symphony of crickets and last night I heard the soft hoo hoo hooting of one or more owls. It is nice very nice.
I'm keeping the backyard birdfeeder stocked and on most mornings except today there are bluejays, cardinals, mourning doves and lots of lbj's eating and fluttering around. I put out fresh carrots for the bunnies and check to see what they've eaten of yesterdays offering. One morning I walked over to the bush where v had sprinkled some of penne's ashes and I startled a bunny who was under there. She made a mad dash over to the row of trees next to the house and watched me.
I appreciate these blessings all around me and want to make regular noticing of what I am grateful for.
• how the cats enjoy running mad dash through all the space in the house
• there's a washer and dryer here for loads of fluffy fresh towels and chonies
• the bed I am sleeping on is a million times better than the one I left behind in Glendale
• those crickets, birds, bunnies and the cows I pass in the fields daily.
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